Me Myself and the crazy world

Reading Bach these days, the attitude towards things is continuously changing. For once I understand what "this life is an illusion still real" means. And here it gives solace that things that go around is just what I wish them to appear, all illusion, while what I see then is the reality. However its all upto me to change the movie running in front of me as I wish it to appear, and then I may sit back watching my own creation. Still there are things I dont understand, like changing the previous scenes of the "movie", how can I go back in time and make a change??

Standing on roof in the afternoon of Saturday I saw those not so high peaks in front of me and it felt like they were calling me. And lo ! I set out to them. Some may say that I was out of my mind, but thats what we all are when we seek what we really want. Up there, it was just one feeling, a total control of life. Everything was so beautiful in its deepest essence, untouched, unharmed by any external agent and hence so full of happiness. Thats what joy is, and that joy is what I am. Some tell me that, I can't be pleasurable, though not directly, but then who wants to be ephemeral pleasure when one is the perpetual joy. Yes I would rather present others with that happiness which lasts over a lifetime, then what if I can't take someone to a discotheque and shake a leg and have an hour or two of pleasure that will be forgotten in a day or two. And, infact, who says I can't? I very well can and will whenever needed and whenever asked for. And for all other infinite moments th

Images on the move these images speak louder than words and the road goes on

क्या बताऊँ कहॉ हूँ मैं.....यहाँ उड़ने को मेरे खुला आसमान है...... Really was back to my old days my love of those heights brought me back to the lap of nature.....all round me and the thrill of climbing on those hilly terrain, with all pack and set to conquer the heights set all adrenaline rushing....... As heights kept increasing I started leaving behind all those webs that have bound themselves around me..oh how i long to be always in those untouched far off lands...where even I dont have any need to talk, to keep laughing to keep despair at bay.....इन उचाइयों पे से सब कुछ इतना छोटा इतना नाचीज़ सा लगता है कि और किसी चीज़ कि ज़रूरत ही नही है......It was one of those places where I "lived" after days .... months rather and really lived intensely for all those 24 hours... The climb and the descent .... the pics the memories of proximity to nature...all this has refuelled the flame......

कभी कभी यूं हो जाता है .... The day was fresh with the last day's downpour. And then suddenly certain things happen which appear trivial normally and go un noticed otherwise, but today as was driving along the road to this "work ground" the scent of wet earth tickled the memories and nostalgia set in..... Its been similar days when we used to have so much fun as children, coming to our hometown was always joy during those days as now. And what more, with all brothers and sisters together it was one heck of a life. How clearly do I remember our gang leader, Kukku didi, who once encouraged both of us brothers to come over with her to Nainital while she was living there in a hostel and how we pleaded in front of our mothers and how emphatically they refused for how could they leave us alone, and now that same gang leader a "mother" by herself. Though she hasn't changed a bit with regard to us, still wonder what her reaction might be in such situation... And now

The days are passing by and life is going on its usual routine. Though in such circumstances it appears that there is nothing worthwhile to note down in words, still to be true to oneself, its really these days, when all anxieties are ostracized, that are worth putting down. All that goes on is not trifling, and am living to the heart's content. What can be better? Though the pursuit that appears to have failed, keeps lingering and I know not to die out and not keep trying, its still the small moments that are counting these days. The moments when, though I make myself appear foolish, there's immense laughter around. And still some people ask why do I do this? I may say why not? I am aware of what I am and capable of then really nothing else matters. Or really does it not? Well, being true, some things do matter and their pain lingers. But am always comorted by the knowledge that everything happens in its time when I know that my way is correct and so are my desires. And then

Today as i savour the words of "like the flowing river",it feels like its just all my ideas in ink.And how it comforts with the feel that i am in company of someone so alike,though not in flesh.Its a reminds of all those beliefs that drive me,but of which i was unaware.Knowing it and that too at this time is sheer joy,when i was losing into contemplation of my own recent actions, and inactions that have borne some fruits to my distaste.When it felt like things were giving way lest my dire efforts,when even after lowering my self esteem to the extreme to pursue and hold a friend along,all efforts had failed just as the other person is not ready to listen rationally and post it out... These words come to the rescue..."because of this,I never leave until tomorrow what I can do or experience today-and that includes joys,work obligations,saying sorry if I feel I've offended someone,and contemplation of the present moment as if it were my last."...so though people may

I get up in the evening and I ain't got nothing to say I come home in the morning I go to bed feeling the same way I ain't nothing but tired Man I'm just tired and bored with myself Hey there baby, I could use just a little help You can't start a fire You can't start a fire without a spark This gun's for hireeven if we're just dancing in the dark Message keeps getting clearer, radio's on and I'm moving 'round the place I check my look in the mirror, I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face Man I ain't getting nowhere I'm just living in a dump like this There's something happening somewhere baby I just know that there is You can't start a fire, you can't start a fire without a spark This gun's for hire, even if we're just dancing in the dark You sit around getting older, there's a joke here somewhere and it's on me I'll shake this world off my shoulders, come on baby this laugh's on me Stay on the str

Great times have finally arrived when all shackles have been removed from by self. Life has become completely contending with just one self to think about. Went to freak out on this weekend, though was a bit reluctant in the begining as the roads and traffic has really messed up in this city, but when out of the premises with those four walls, it got really enjoyable. But one thing seems to bother a lot, besides all this festivities and pleasure in this city, it is really working harder than it can against this space crunch. It appears that the population explosion has occured here even before the whole world, with just software techies taking birth in this city. And with the suburbs growing at such a fast pace, this city might go to dogs, or rather to e-dogs.

We have been teaching these kids for some 2 months now...and when I question what have we really achieved the answer comes out to be,sadly,nothing.. We have miserably failed to give birth to the inquisitive mind in these children thats actually required. Just teaching them to add is not sufficient...they should be the taught the why behind it.... With the last week's incident and what Deepak said about their helplessness, that they need to approach a problem in a certain way thats taught in the school...I was coerced to think what difference were we making.... These children may get good marks now in their exams....but is this all thats the goal for which I am going there....I have learned to not accept anything just for the sake of it...and thats really what I wanted to teach them....to make them open to new ideas, and not become just blind followers.... They may come out to be literate...but I dont think in this manner they will ever be educated....