Me Myself and the crazy world

Reading Bach these days, the attitude towards things is continuously changing. For once I understand what "this life is an illusion still real" means. And here it gives solace that things that go around is just what I wish them to appear, all illusion, while what I see then is the reality. However its all upto me to change the movie running in front of me as I wish it to appear, and then I may sit back watching my own creation. Still there are things I dont understand, like changing the previous scenes of the "movie", how can I go back in time and make a change??

Standing on roof in the afternoon of Saturday I saw those not so high peaks in front of me and it felt like they were calling me. And lo ! I set out to them. Some may say that I was out of my mind, but thats what we all are when we seek what we really want. Up there, it was just one feeling, a total control of life. Everything was so beautiful in its deepest essence, untouched, unharmed by any external agent and hence so full of happiness. Thats what joy is, and that joy is what I am. Some tell me that, I can't be pleasurable, though not directly, but then who wants to be ephemeral pleasure when one is the perpetual joy. Yes I would rather present others with that happiness which lasts over a lifetime, then what if I can't take someone to a discotheque and shake a leg and have an hour or two of pleasure that will be forgotten in a day or two. And, infact, who says I can't? I very well can and will whenever needed and whenever asked for. And for all other infinite moments th